i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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