i think i have herpe
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"