The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.