If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
