I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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