I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize