We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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