I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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