could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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