What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize