First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
