i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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