Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.

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  (251): I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole. http://tfl.nu/c6gz
  Replies (18) Good night (920) Bad night (4646)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Did we have sex last night?

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

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  (706): Did we have sex last night? (1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. http://tfl.nu/f9pg
  Replies (16) Good night (645) Bad night (6234)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (6889) Bad night (2421)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics

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  (513): i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics http://tfl.nu/sgxc
  Replies (9) Good night (4169) Bad night (1016)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".

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  (302): He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice". http://tfl.nu/55zb
  Replies (23) Good night (5021) Bad night (1539)
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  (212): View more from New York

  it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating

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  (212): it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating http://tfl.nu/p848
  Replies (19) Good night (4286) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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  (206): he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker... http://tfl.nu/z1il
  Replies (16) Good night (5088) Bad night (1113)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on

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  (717): I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on http://tfl.nu/s4r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1709) Bad night (657)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.

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  (512): If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok. http://tfl.nu/1awh
  Replies (10) Good night (2465) Bad night (658)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.

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  (773): Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive. http://tfl.nu/999r
  Replies (4) Good night (1600) Bad night (325)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.

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  (816): Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it. http://tfl.nu/1im6
  Replies (6) Good night (1180) Bad night (336)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative

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  (610): Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative http://tfl.nu/dzmt
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (449)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!

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  (306): had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function! http://tfl.nu/xw78
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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  (802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (235)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (125)

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