I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
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I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.