Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.

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  (301): porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out. http://tfl.nu/nhkd
  Replies (6) Good night (1486) Bad night (608)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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  (515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h
  Replies (6) Good night (682) Bad night (3585)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.

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  (319): Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk. http://tfl.nu/a04b
  Replies (13) Good night (5553) Bad night (1930)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Grandpa would have been proud

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  (815): Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out. (815): Grandpa would have been proud http://tfl.nu/nrjc
  Replies (13) Good night (5930) Bad night (1324)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.

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  (908): My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated. http://tfl.nu/0c6p
  Replies (15) Good night (1194) Bad night (4450)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers

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  (586): She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers http://tfl.nu/r5er
  Replies (18) Good night (1941) Bad night (6297)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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  (631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd
  Replies (24) Good night (1080) Bad night (6389)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sorry. Im on my way.

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  (608): When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face. (262): Sorry. Im on my way. http://tfl.nu/us1r
  Replies (23) Good night (6292) Bad night (1096)
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  (925): View more from California

  A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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  (925): A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/wou7
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (427)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.

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  (303): Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion. http://tfl.nu/tcgp
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (324)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No worries I have vodka. Its always on time

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  (541): No worries I have vodka. Its always on time http://tfl.nu/sdpy
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (323)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.

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  (913): He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/r25m
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (295)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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  (514): I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4ifb
  Replies (9) Good night (688) Bad night (510)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye

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  (913): so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye http://tfl.nu/o046
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (782)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.

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  (218): You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob. http://tfl.nu/3817
  Replies (5) Good night (182) Bad night (299)

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