when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright