just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.