And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
