Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.

Fav 16 3367 1604
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.

Fav 7 4233 1129
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..

Fav 45 7808 1197
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

Fav 36 6248 2121
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....

Fav 3 2237 1106
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

Fav 5 2958 999
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either

Fav 11 2625 1004
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

Fav 8 725 675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.

Fav 0 711 356
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT