So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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