We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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