Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize