how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
