once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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