White coat. Heels.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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