He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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