And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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