I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
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You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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