and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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