So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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