Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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