Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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