D3 body, D1 cock
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face