I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
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Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
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you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.