I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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