I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
