my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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