I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were trust falling into bushes