dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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