Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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