Just cropdusted the office
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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