why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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