Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?