5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me