She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us