No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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