I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize