Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize