HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
