Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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