For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
this will be a night to untag.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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