Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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