...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
