That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.