I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...