Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.