I love black thongs
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am one with the molecules
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.