Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
