I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize