You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
