I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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