he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
