dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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