So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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